So I got the news about lunchtime. The bad, easy news. I was not philosophical. I was not resilient. I was not practical. Nooooo, I was -
With reason, it started as something I just thought I'd take a chance on, got surprised and decided to give it my all despite some misgivings and while waiting for the outcome which had, I thought, a good chance of coming off for me, talked myself into seeing every drawback as an actual postive. So yeah, bit gutted.
But the whole emo thing isn't me. I annoy myself with the sound of my own sobbing so 6 hours was about my limit. Now I just need to get what I can out of the whole experience and then build on it. If nothing else, it's given me a path where I was just floundering before.
I can work on this and for the record, I have a wonderful husband and a great marriage. A fabulous, funny, incredible little boy, a lovely family, nice home, amazing friends and a cushy, first world lifestyle with heating and plumbing and a safety net if it all goes wrong. There is nothing to cry about.*
*Nothing to cry for more than 6 hours about, obviously.