Monday 14 May 2012

Love and Marriage

As Frank Sinatra knew, they go together like a horse and carriage. He went further, putting forward the notion that you can't have one without the other.

Well, times have certainly changed since then and many people do have one without the other. Many many people love without marriage, some because they want it that way and some because due to an accident of birth coupled with some even more outdated opinions, they're not allowed to marry.
Today I completed an online survey that contributes to the (UK) Government's consultation on Gay Marriage. You can do the same from here -  http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/publications/about-us/consultations/equal-civil-marriage/
I find the arguments against marriage for gay people bewildering. I've read the argument that marriage is something between a man and a woman to make babies, that the bible says so and that's that. Well, I've never read the bible so I can't tell you if it does but marriage existed before Christianity and if memory serves... was often as much about property rights and making the right alliances than it was about procreation. Marriage told everyone who owns what and whose side they were on and babies made certain of an heir to continue owning it and being owed allegiance. Roughly speaking anyway.

The world has moved on, now marriage is supposed to be about love. Seems to me the only people who can deny that gay people love each other as much as straight people are people who're too consumed by hate to recognise love when they see it. There is no debasement of the institution of marriage, no dumb, fickle, shallow reason for walking down the aisle a gay person can make that isn't made by straight people every damn week. It isn't better for a child to be raised by a mother and a father who're married, it's better that a child is raised by two people who love that child and are committed to putting that child before themselves for the rest of their lives.
I don't agree that the law should state no religious gay marriages can take place. I think the law shouldn't recognise the difference between any marriage that's between two human beings both over the age of consent. I'm fairly sure the wording could be found so that clerics could marry anyone they wanted to but also couldn't be compelled to marry a couple they didn't want to, be that because the couple are gay or because they were straight but have no religious leanings and just want a pretty building.

It's not up to me though, and I'm probably part of the slow deterioration of the fabric of our society that can safely be ignored. If I am though, and the fabric of society is something that wants equality only if it can make some more equal than others, then I'm all for it crumbling down around my ears.

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