Tuesday 16 October 2012

A flicker of light in the tunnel

Did I mention that I went for my appointment at Endocrinology?
I was so happy to get the referral, then so disappointed to be met with the same indifference I've come up against so many times with GP's. Even so, the consultant did agree to send me for the one remaining blood test that hadn't been done, although she didn't expect anything other than a normal result.

As it turned out, the result was 'indeterminate' and required more testing to be sure. I got a letter last week to let me know that the other hospital (over in Halifax) which does those tests would be in touch. Of course I almost immediately hit the internet to explore cortisol tests and what on earth might the problem. Sadly, although I have the result of my tests, all the Google-fu in the world can't help me determine if my cortisol is higher or lower than it should be. I just can't make sense of what info I can find. Wikipedia, naturally was as unhelpful as general google results but with the added dimension of giving me various diseases and syndromes to pour over and compare symptoms with until I'd decided I was suffering from almost all of them. Nothing for it then, I'd just have to be dull and wait for my next appointment to ask someone qualified. Boo.

The initial appointment had come through pretty quickly, I think it took about a month. I had no idea how long it would be to get the next one. In fact, they phoned me yesterday, 3 business days after I got the letter from the Endocrinology consultant. and invited me to come for my test next week, Monday or Tuesday - my choice. I chose Monday. I'm delighted it's going to be so fast!
My hopes are rising again, maybe I don't have CFS/ME, maybe there's something wrong with me that they can fix! Maybe I'm just round the corner from getting well! Oh what dangerous, seductive dreams are these. No matter how many times my hopes are dashed they still get entranced and fetched away by the spectre of future health.
But you never know, maybe this time it's true.

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