The Quest

In which your intrepid reporter braves madness and early mornings to forage bargains for her family.

As dawn broke over Yorkshire this morning I was woken by Small calling out for assistance of one kind of another. Having made a commitment the night before to get up and dressed as soon as he woke today and embark on my quest I enquired as to the time. 5am.
Bugger that for a game of soldiers then. Small settled, back to bed.
Two hours later Small woke again and this was much more like it so up, clothes, coffee, toast.
I left Big and Small both far behind me as they are male and therefore not suited to the task that lay before me. Nay, for I was leaving to throw my sanity and financial security to the wind, I was leaving for The Next Summer Sale.
(US and other non-British readers, Next is a clothing retailer who has two massive sales a year for which they open at 5am, it's an event)

I had my game plan, no queuing up at 4 in the morning to be the first through the door, much better to let the first rush pass then rock up at that point where the early birds have gone home but the normal daytime shoppers haven't turned up yet, about half eight. I was a good plan, it wasn't too busy and the next wave of sale goods were just being put out on the racks.
I'd gone to get Small a new swimsuit and some jeans for myself, maybe some shoes.
I came away with two swimsuits for Small, some jeans for... Small, some tshirts for... Small, some sandals for... Small and a pair of red linen trousers for me. There were no jeans in my size that I would want to wear,  unfortunately. But that's ok, there will probably be returns in the next few days where other people got carried away and I might get the things I need then, possibly even cheaper.

People are mad in there though, I queued behind a woman who had taken FOUR bags of clothes up to the till. Bags roughly the same size as those ones you get in Ikea. Big bags, full to the brim. I never saw the final tally as they were still ringing it through even once the rest of the queue were seen to but she must have spent hundreds and hundreds, even considering the sale. Crazy.

 I escaped with my spoils, rejoined my family and lay them before Small for his verdict. He selected the swimming costume in the stule of a pirate outfit, complete with cutlass, demanded to wear it immediately and refused to take it off. And verily, the quest was deemed a success.